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Help! My ride is getting crapped on!

It seems my Stagea is getting crapped on and not by Legnum drivers. No a visiting gang of menacing sparrows have decided my Nissan is a fantastic canvas to cover in bird poo. And they have really put some time and effort in making a mess all over it while it sits in the carport, looking sharp.

So this weekend I had a look at some successful possible solutions that didn’t invest in some kind of firearms license.

Of course it’s not just my Stagea that’s been attacked by a mad flurry of bird poo, while my wife parked her Lancer in the carport the sparrows took great delight in covering her mirrors in as much bird poo as birdly possible. I don’t know what it is about mirrors but it seems like a fantastic place to catch up, talk about what’s going on in your sparrow like life and then take a steaming turd.


Luckily the local Bunnings seems to have a section dedicated to the eradication of bird poo mayhem and after a quick visit I came home with a couple of things to try. One that looked interesting and one that might actually do the trick..

Bird poo eradication service
These look interesting!


How does it work?: Stretch this between two poles and decapitate unaware sparrows when the wind comes through it creates a noise that birds really don’t like, so they avoid the area. Well that’s the theory. While putting it up, I didn’t hear anything. When the wind came through the carport, I still didn’t hear anything. Does it work on frequencies only birds can hear? Not sure.

Bird poo
Take that you birds!

Does it work?: Jury is still out on this one (unless I installed it incorrectly.) There was no bird poo in any of the tape so that’s obviously a good sign.


How does it work?:  When blowing in the wind it makes noise. When bouncing sunlight off it it gives pooing birds one hell of a headache (like a triple strength hangover) and they find somewhere else to take a nice quiet dump. On the flip side it also makes your carport look like it’s ready for mardi gras or some kind of retro disco ball party. Probably should’ve popped on some flared jeans before sticking them up.

It's like a mad party in your own carport!
It’s like a mad party in your own carport!

But does it work?: Yesterday I would have said a resounding ‘damn straight’ however this morning I caught one brave sparrow taking a steaming shit on my windscreen. However this is a massive improvement from a horde of sparrows catching up for coffee on my car and spraying bird poo everywhere. Obviously this sparrow is braver than the rest or far stupider. Or blind, missing the streamers of anti bird technology.


Some helpful online links:

Bird Repellent – Scare Away Tape Deterrent Gardeneer By Dalen Holographic Scare Tape Bird Scare Humming Line / Pest Control BIRD SCARER 30M




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